Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
