u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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