From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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