dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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