Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
