Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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