God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
