worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
