i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
