I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
