i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
