Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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