Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
