Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize