He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
