what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Randomize
