I got chris browned last night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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