i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize