I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
