I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
