First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
false alarm, still single
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
