Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize