His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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