so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
