I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
