Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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