Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
