**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
