..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize