are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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