If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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