I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
