i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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