I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Someone shattered a urinal.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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