so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
