ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
