you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
