I am puke
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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