I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You can't special order awesome
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
