just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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