If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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