The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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