I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your shirt... Was in my pants
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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