i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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