You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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