Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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