I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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