Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
