Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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