think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
