I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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