we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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