i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
