It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
