How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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