Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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