I want to walk on stilts...naked
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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