Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
