I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
