Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
