Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
