I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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